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umm

Is it weird that I’m fascinated with blood? 

The phlebotomist who usually draws my blood once laughed at me because I had said something like, “Blood is so cool.” She laughed because my reaction and interest in blood was a rarity. Usually people are grossed out or just uncomfortable. 

I think part of it has to do with the fact that red is my favorite color. And to see all that red being siphoned out of my arm was pretty neat. 

That’s not a fetish, is it? Oh god, am I developing a blood fetish? People who are bleeding don’t turn me on, nor does that sight of blood because 1) eww and 2) what are you supposed to do with blood when you have sex? Rub it all over yourself? (Like that one unfortunate time I saw a picture of scat porn?)

I cut the index finger on my right hand yesterday while putting a bag in the back of my friend’s trunk. It was a small cut, but it bled a lot and it showed even after I put on a band aid. Here’s a question: if I’m bleeding profusely from like the stomach, do I have to warn people who are helping that I’m HIV positive? I tend to have violent daydreams in which I’m the hero and killing a bunch of bad guys. This is probably the only situation in which that question is relevant because it’s not like I have the power to dodge bullets. Then again, I always have a healing power like the cheerleader from Heroes. 

Ugh, I need a job.